


Stranger The Sleepless

by StorytellerSecrets



Series: Chat Fics That Literally No One Asked For [5]
Category: Strange the Dreamer Series - Laini Taylor
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chatting & Messaging, Dialogue-Only, F/F, F/M, Feel-good, Feral is a surprising focus for this story, Fluff, Funny, Gay Male Character, Gen, Group chat, How Do I Tag, Light-Hearted, M/M, Memes, Multi, My First Work in This Fandom, Self-Indulgent, Texting, Who Knows?, as in i wrote this fic to feel good, chatfic, i guess feral is the main character now?, lol didn't see that one coming until i re-read this, maybe more chapters?, not me, well my first posted work
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-30 01:22:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19842607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StorytellerSecrets/pseuds/StorytellerSecrets
Summary: moth(wo)man: ill fucking haunt you in your dreams old mandaddy: jokes on you you can't have bad dreams if you don't sleepmoth(wo)man: tr y me bitch





	Stranger The Sleepless

**Author's Note:**

> this is so self-indulgent i love it this is so fun to write and i've been working on it since i read the first book and yeah
> 
> here we go!

**Lazylo:** I'm studying for finals and :/// this :/// is :/// a :/// train :/// wreck :///

**@Lazylo** sent _super organized.jpeg_

**weatherboy:** but? finals are in like a month??? '~'?

**Lazylo:** Um, it's called getting ahead.

**daddy:** please tell me i wasn't the only one who read that in a really high-pitched white-girl voice

**moth(wo)man:** i read all my texts from lazlo in a high pitched white girl voice

**666sense:** maybe it's because  _ you're  _ the high pitched white girl

**666sense:** wait why am i defending  _ lazlo _

**moth(wo)man:** im literally the opposite of white meghan

**Lazylo:** Why am I literally being bullied?

**daddy:** why are you all literally awake at four in the morning

**moth(wo)man:** you mean why are  _ we  _ all literally awake at four in the morning and the answer is ye

**daddy:** why are my children literally l i k e this

**moth(wo)man:** i mean last i checked you only had one kid but i mean okay

**daddy:** so sorry youre absolutely right this is my son feral and i love him

**weatherboy:** (0u0)

**moth(wo)man:** ill fucking haunt you in your dreams old man

**daddy:** jokes on you you can't have bad dreams if you don't sleep

**moth(wo)man:** tr y me bitch

**thighon:** how does one 'try'? all i know is the sweet glory of success.

**Lazylo:** Then why exactly is it taking you seven whole years for you to make me some toast?

**thighon:** because im not making you toast. you havent eaten a real meal in twenty seven whole years. im making you lunch

**Lazylo:** Wait, but I'm twenty-one.

**thighon:** i know.

**Lazylo:** Did anyone ever tell you that I love you?

**thighon:** once or twice i think so

**Lazylo:** I love you.

**thighon:** is this lazlo??? having a feeling??

**moth(wo)man:** is this??? supposed to be surprising??

**Lazylo:** I love you, too.

**moth(wo)man:** yeah but have you  _ seen  _ thyon

**thighon:** ma'am im so sorry but im gay

**moth(wo)man:** i know its why i have to settle for lazlo

**Lazylo:** Yes, I have seen Thyon. I have also seen you. You are very pretty.

**666sense:** she wont tell you but shes blushing

**moth(wo)man:** MOVING ON

**moth(wo)man:** controversial topic of the day: lazlos fucking lawful good

**thighon:** actually, meghan. lazlo is fucking chaotic neutral and neutral good.

**moth(wo)man:** wait which one am i

**Lazylo:** Since when have I done the fucking? And why am I fucking Thyon?

**thighon:** sarai. do i look like a good person to you? and lazlo, because.

**moth(wo)man:** nevermind have a nice day

**weatherman:** i think your a good person thigh-man :)

**666sense:** fughkjicng THIGH MAN lmfao

**thighon:** it's *you're and fucking fight me

**weatherman:** :[

**moth(wo)man:** yeah so all in favor of feral being pure good say eye

**Lazylo:** Eye, for one.

**daddy:** E E E E Y Y Y Y E E E E

**thighon:** eye.

**666sense:** eye even though that's not a fucking alignment

**moth(wo)man:** yeah well it's feral's alignment

**moth(wo)man:** good enough he's in

**weatherman:** in what? is it like a secret club or something?

**thighon:** or something.

**weatherman:** oh okay ^u^

**daddy:** wait what am i though

**Lazylo:** Chaotic Good.

**moth(wo)man:** cg

**thighon:** youre what we call 'chaotic good.'

**weatherman:** your daddy?

**thighon:** *you're and literally never say that again

**weatherman:** but that's his username??? what's wrong with it?

**thighon:** we'll...tell you when you're older.

**666sense:** fucking feral you're such a dumbass.

**zukoko:** guys im morosexual

**weatherman:** is that bad? are you sick?

**zukoko:** its horrible. -_-

**weatherman:** do you want me to come over? !!0_0!!!

**zukoko:** YES

**weatherman:** k. ill be over in a sec. :)

**weatherman:** wait do you want me to bring anything ruby?

**zukoko:** idk do you have that new disney movie?

**weatherman:** frozen?

**zukoko:** that movie is literally like nine years old

**666sense:** _ im _ literally like nine years old and im still a  _ classic _

**weatherman:** sorry. do you want me to bring it anyways?

**zukoko:** get your white ass over here.

**weatherman:** sorry i cant run any fastersfd

**zukoko:** it's fucking icy outside youre gonna slip

**weatherman:** im not gonna slopiopppoiu

**@zukoko** sent _he fucking slipped.png_

**daddy:** god damn look at my good son

**thighon:** hes literally bleeding all over the road in that picture

**daddy:** but hes t r y i n g

**weatherman:** i am okay!

**weatherman:** definately okay. maybe a little concussed but im!! okay!!

**daddy:** ruby take him inside please

**weatherman:** i am inside! rubys house is very nice!

**@weatherman** sent _rubbbbbbbbbys haouse.jpeg_

**poison ivy:** you bitch

**daddy:** welcome back to the land of the living sparrow

**daddy:** thank you for bringing her back to us minyah

**666sense:** fuck you old man

**poison ivy:** how dare you

**weatherman:** whats wrong???

**zukoko:** nothings wrong, sparrows just being stupid

**weatherman:** ?

**poison ivy:** you know i like him!

**weatherman:** i?? like you too???

**poison ivy:** you know what nevermind

**weatherman:** wait no sparrow

**zukoko:** i take it back feral u need to leave

**weatherman:** wait no ruby

**poison ivy:** whatever

**zukoko:** seeya later

**weatherman:** ...guys?

**Lazylo:** This is painful to read.

**daddy:** its even more painful to watch

**moth(wo)man:** its cool feral u can chill with us

**weatherman:** are you sure?

**moth(wo)man:** yeah sure its been awhile since ive seen frozen

**weatherman:** oh

**weatherman:** i left frozen a ruby's house

**weatherman:** its okay i can just go home

**weatherman:** once i figure out where i am

**weatherman:** its kinda hard to see with all the snow

**moth(wo)man:** feral its not snowing

**weatherman:** oh

**weatherman:** really?

**moth(wo)man:** where are you right now feral??

**weatherman:** i cant really tell

**weatherman:** oops i fell again

**weatherman:** i keep slipping on all this slush

**weatherman:** i csmt really see

**weatherman:** ooppsys

**moth(wo)man:**

**moth(wo)man:** feral?

* * *

**moth(wo)man:** okay so we all need to stay calm

**zukoko:** who's panicking im not panicking its not like feral could be dead right now or anything

**poison ivy:** this is all my fault if i hadn't told feral how i felt he wouldn't have left

**zukoko:** shut up

**zukoko:** he left because i kicked him out not because of what you said

**zukoko:** besides i doubt he understood what you meant

**poison ivy:** why?

**zukoko:** i mean

**zukoko:** its  _ feral _

**poison ivy:** fair but still we really need to find him

**zukoko:** im already looking

**Lazylo:** I'll call in some of my contacts to see if they can help.

**Lazylo:** It might take a minute. I have...a  _ lot  _ of contacts.

* * *

**lesbien rock:** i think i found your child marcus

**daddy:** my name isn't marcus for the last time

**lesbien rock:** that sounds like something a marcus would say

**lesbien rock:** anyways the hospital got a patient that looks like your smol child just thot u might wanna know

**daddy:** what does he look like?

**lesbien rock:** like ur smol child? the one with the aggro name but super immature personality

**lesbien rock:** thats what tzara said anywho

**zukoko:** ferals not immature u fuck

**lesbien rock:** yes yes your right my sincerest apologies

**thighon:** for the last FUCKING TIME ITS YOU'RE PEOPLE

**lesbien rock:** what about my people u bitch

**lesbien rock:** got something to say?

**thighon:** -_- you know what, nevermind. i'm going to the hospital to pick feral up, i'll take him to my house and then im going to bed.

**lesbien rock:** hey wait can you take me home too

**thighon:** to your house or to my house

**lesbien rock:** idc either one

**thigon:** well then I guess we're all just having a slumber party.

**thighon:** yay -_-

* * *

**weatherman:** where am i???

**666sense:** wouldn't you like to know  _ weatherboy _

**weatherman:** yeah?

**weatherman:** i would

**weatherman:** in case that wasn't clear?

**lesbien rock:** lol were at thyons house m8

**weatherman:** thanks :) who are you?

**lesbien rock:** im spider. but lesbien

**lesbien rock:** name me calixte

**weatherman:** oh hi im feral

**lesbien rock:** yeah i know

**zukoko:** FERAL YOU'RE ALIVE

**zukoko:** SPARROW FERAL'S ALIVE

**poison ivy:** FEEEERRRAAALLL

**weatherman:** hi?

**weatherman:** i feel like i missed something??

**Lazylo:** I finished going through my contacts and

**Lazylo:** oh. Nevermind.

**Lazylo:** Welcome back Feral.

**daddy:** DID SOMEONE SAY MY ONLY CHILD'S NAME

**moth(wo)man:** for the last fucking time I AM YOUR CHILD NOT FERAL

**daddy:** sorry can't hear you over the looming threat that is my son's safety

**666sense:** rip sarai she's ascended into the afterlife

**daddy:** its okay child you did your best

**666sense:** fuck you im not a child

**666sense:** im miniature

**daddy:** i was talking to feral

**666sense:** fite me

**weatherman:** please don't fight

**weatherman:** just chill

**weatherman:** its relaxation

**weatherman:** ...okay?

**666sense:** fine but im not doing it just because you told me to

**daddy:** i love you my son

**weatherman:** thank you?

* * *

**thighon:** who fucking woke me up

**thighton:** i know it was one of you which bitch was it

**thighon:** how dare you

**thighon:** in my own home

**thighon:** you fuckers are cruel

**Lazylo:** actually im pretty sure that was your boyfriend

**Lazylo:** like 100% certain

**zukoko:** you have a boyfriend?? how'd you get one?

**thighon:** i insulted his friend and then punched several bitches

**thighon:** dragons were involved

**zukoko:** sick

**weatherboy:** ruby you're sick again???

**zukoko:** no sparrow magically healed me

**poison ivy:** no i didn't

**zukoko:** she did

**zukoko:** she also used her powers to salvage daddys marriage

**poison ivy:** literally all i did was give azareen a band-aid and book their couple's therapy session for them

**daddy:** you saved us

**daddy:** from eternal turmoil

**Lazylo:** Imagine if we all had real superpowers.

**poison ivy:** lol who needs to imagine. i grow things, that's a superpower right there.

**zukoko:** i set fires to feel joy

**weatherman:** me me cloud man

**moth(wo)man:** my real power lies in haunting your dreams without even trying

**moth(wo)man:** you cant escape. you can never escape

**weatherman:** that’s terrifying :D

**moth(wo)man:** i know :)

**666sense:** im going to fucking kill all of you

**moth(wo)man:** fair enough

**moth(wo)man:** no reasoning needed just do it

**moth(wo)man:** end us all

**weatherman:** :(

**666sense:** except you feral

**666sense:** u good

**666sense:** but the rest of you fuckers better watch out

**666sense:** because once i figure out how to keep my attention on one thing

**666sense:** im _coming_ for you

**Lazylo:** So...is that your superpower or are you just planning a mass-homicide?

**zukoko:** more like homiecide

**666sense:** you're all fucking dead

**Author's Note:**

> there might be more probably i have sort-of-kind-of plans so we'll see i guess!


End file.
